NFL Takeaways: Week 18
Photo from Ellen Schmidt of the Associated Press
The entire NFL season felt like a complete drag, so of course it’s the useless week 18 that the NFL added for extra revenue that ends up being the most exciting week of the season.
One last time for all 32 teams, let’s discuss what we learned.
Chiefs defeat Broncos 28-24
Phew. Thank god the Broncos kicked that field goal.
God forbid they’d try to win against a division rival with nothing to play for just to have a little bit of enjoyment.
Bye bye, Vic Fangio.
Cowboys defeat Eagles 51-26
Did Dak Prescott carving up practice squad players mean much? No, not at all.
But it did end in Scorigami.
So that’s nice.
Browns defeat Bengals 21-16
This game didn’t matter and nothing of interest happened in it.
Lions defeat Packers 37-30
I love Dan Campbell and there was no terrible team I enjoyed watching more than the Detroit Lions this year.
They have a serious talent deficit compared to others, but I believe in Campbell to lead the way.
Vikings defeat Bears 31-17
Patrick Peterson got a late pick six which ruined the Vikings chance at the NFL record for one score games in a season.
The only thing of interest in the Vikings’ season, and they couldn’t even have that.
Washington defeat the Giants 22-7
The Giants QB sneaking on 2nd and 3rd down is, objectively, hilarious.
And as of writing this, Joe Judge has not been fired.
Amazing.
Jaguars defeat Colts 26-11
Oh, I’m going to take a victory lap here.
I remember all of the pundits saying the Colts were title contenders this season.
I mean, how couldn’t they be? They were 11-5 with Phillip Rivers and now they have a clearly superior quarterback in Carson Wentz! How could it go wrong?!
Because Carson Wentz is not a good NFL quarterback.
It’s time to stop pretending that he is.
The Colts are worse off having him than having old Phillip Rivers.
Steelers defeat Ravens 16-13
For the last time ever, Big Ben faced off against the Ravens.
And they honored it perfectly, with a disgusting and borderline unwatchable game where neither team ends up getting to 20 points.
Rot in hell, you boring ass games.
Titans defeat Texans 28-25
The Titans may have felt they had locked up the 1 seed and let off the gas way too early.
But they got their first round bye, and they did it with lots of offensive line injuries and no Derrick Henry.
An extremely impressive season.
Saints defeat Falcons 30-20
A 9-8 season for the Saints while using 3 different quarterbacks is actually very impressive and deserved a playoff spot.
But the good ole Rams just couldn’t help them out.
Bills defeat Jets 27-10
The Jets defense actually did a great job against the Bills, but the offense could not get them the help they deserved.
Now, we get to watch how the Jets screw up another draft.
49ers defeat Rams 27-24
The Rams have some serious, serious issues they need to work out.
Matt Stafford is looking like the Matt Stafford of his late Lions career, and that is far from a good thing.
Superteams typically don’t work in the NFL, and I have a feeling this will be no different.
As for the Niners, I guess I need to stop making jokes about how they lost both games to the Seahawks since they made the playoffs regardless.
Thanks for nothing, Rams.
Seahawks defeat Cardinals 38-30
I know nobody is going to want to hear this in Seattle, and changes still need to be made on the defensive side of the ball, but it’s hard to see the Seahawks being a better team next year if they don’t bring both Pete Carroll and Russell Wilson back.
Will they? Who knows?
But that’s the best course of action.
Make a change at defensive coordinator, but Pete and Russ should stay.
Dolphins defeat Patriots 33-24
The Dolphins finally have their young QB making strides with his young star wide receiver, went 8-1 in their last 9 games, and now can build the offensive line to help protect Tua and help him make strides.
All they need to do now is avoid stupid moves that hinder the entire organization like firing their head coach.
Buccaneers defeat Panthers 41-17
Call me crazy, but I don’t think Sam Darnold is the answer in Carolina.
Raiders defeat Chargers 35-32
Alright. It’s time to talk about it.
The United States of America is incredibly divided.
We disagree on human rights, war, vaccines, politics, religion. Basically everything under the sun.
But for about one hour on a Sunday night, the country came together.
The Raiders and Chargers were on their way to a hilarious tie, meaning both teams make the playoffs and the Steelers would stay at home and miss out.
I had never seen Twitter so excited over one possible outcome. Chris Collinsworth was basically begging for it.
And at the very end, after everyone had stayed up super late on a work night, Daniel Carlson made a field goal to ruin it, meaning we all now need to watch Big Ben’s noodle arm try to throw more than 10 yards for another 60 minutes.
America had finally come together, and we all went to bed let down.
Such is a sign of the times…
